Extract: ‘wraith’ from Josiah Morgan’s poetry collection, i’m still growing
Editor:
Josiah Morgan
Publisher:
Dead Bird Books
Date published:
1 March 2024
Format:
Paperback
RRP:
$30
After publishing his first four books in the United States, i’m still growing brings the poetry of Josiah Morgan (Kāi Tahu, Ngāti Maniapoto) into print in Aotearoa for the first time.
Snippets from a cursed male high-school culture, conversations from Grindr, and the vocabularies of BDSM appear and shapeshift against the backdrop of suburban New Zealand. Violence is intertwined with sexuality, and sexuality with catharsis, while earnest questions about adulthood shine through.Bold and queer, i’m still growing pushes back against the conventions of autobiographical poetry to offer a distorted mirror to a messy world.
Of the following extracted poem ‘wraith’, Josiah writes:
My teenage years were characterised by friends falling victim to mental illness. ‘wraith’ is a grief poem, a eulogy to friends that have passed on or are in the process of passing on. It is the final poem in a longer poetic sequence called inside the castle, which broadly deals with the interchangeable nature of queer identities in the 21st century. ‘wraith’ takes place, loosely, at a funeral, but there is complexity. Who is the speaker? Is the speaker a funeral attendee, grieving the death of an unknown somebody? Is the speaker the dead body? Or is the speaker something else, a ghost or a memory, haunting the material space of grief?
wraith
I would never this party alone.
Nobody drives the speed limit.
I’m screenprinted a photocard.
My torso’s tight cloud you stretch into a silhouette.
I’ve dropped a few pounds everyone’s weeping.
I never a church Ecclesiastes speak strangers.
My bible Sappho [it’s no use
mother dear] mini club sandwiches delicious.
Anyone’s there they dressing black.
Everyone drunk in no time
if not already.
My photos line the wall all of them.
I’m finally famous.
Everyone my name.
I never walk this without you.
Nobody knows what to say.
I’m disgusted my fancy dress.
My face a lid you can’t open.
I dropped in the ground yes I’m melting.
I never latte like you.
I walk the door you’re singing my favorite song.
Your neck for mine.
Christ’s blood stain the soil. Member my
reflection like a ghost. You’ve spilled all our milk.
We back together now we are.
We’re back together now.
Our arms are all around us now.
Our arm surrounds us now.
Josiah Morgan (Kāi Tahu, Ngāti Maniapoto) is a queer multimedia artist living and working in Ōtautahi. At age 22, he is a theatre maker and actor, the author of four books, and an educator for Sexwise promoting sexual health in high schools across Aotearoa. His work has been featured in The Spinoff, Landfall, Out Here, eel magazine, Poetry Aotearoa Yearbook and Mayhem, among many other international journals, online blogs, and magazines
