Extract: Tales of a Vet Nurse
Author:
Jade Pengelly
Publisher:
HarperCollins NZ
ISBN:
9781775542179
Date published:
08 March 2023
Pages:
272
Format:
Paperback
RRP:
$39.99
Extracted from Tales of a Vet Nurse by Jade Pengelly (HarperCollins NZ, $39.99)
In some ways, it’s a little unfair that dogs are assumed to be the only ones to eat things they shouldn’t. Sure, they’re the most common culprits—but they’re not alone in their questionable dietary habits.
My colleague Nina is chatty and bubbly and has been a vet for more than 30 years. She also has something of a knack for attracting the most eccentric pet owners. So, when a middle-aged woman with a hot-pink shawl and quirky orange horn-rimmed glasses burst into the clinic with her black Labrador one afternoon, Nina naturally wondered what was in store.
The woman was flustered but doing her best to remain polite. ‘My dog needs to see a vet as soon as possible, please,’ she said. ‘He ate a scouring pad a few days ago and I think it’s still in there.’
‘Okay, come this way, please,’ said Nina.
‘Oh, um, you can just take him. Just do whatever you need to. I have to go.’
‘Hold on a moment,’ Nina said firmly. ‘You need to stay, please. I need some more information, and I need to examine him.’
‘Of course, of course.’ The woman was agitated. ‘If we could just be as quick as possible, that would be much appreciated,’ she said, as she followed Nina into the consult room.
Nina felt the Labrador’s tummy and confirmed the classic signs of foreign-body ingestion: sore stomach and loss of appetite. She also established that the owner had actually watched him eat the scouring pad, so there was no doubt as to what was causing the problem. Nina explained that the dog needed to be admitted and would most likely require surgery.
By this point, the woman was basically vibrating with the effort of remaining in place. ‘Yes, yes, okay,’ she said. ‘Please, do whatever you need to do. I apologise, but I really must go now. Oh, and please don’t try to call me for at least the next few hours.’
She was already halfway to the door before Nina could respond.
‘I’m sorry,’ Nina said, loudly enough to get the woman to stop, ‘but is there some particular reason I can’t call you? It’s fairly unusual, and puts me in a difficult situation if I need your permission for anything.’
The woman took a deep breath. She turned slowly back towards Nina.
‘Well, I actually have to go to the hospital myself,’ she said. ‘I expect I will also need surgery. So I will
probably be out of contact for some time.’
‘Oh,’ said Nina, feeling terrible for being so brusque. ‘Er, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you are okay?’
‘Well, no ... look, I don’t have much time, so I’m just going to come out and say it. I ate a scouring pad, too, after my dog did.’
For maybe the first time in her life, Nina was lost for words.
‘I thought that perhaps if I ate one and it passed through me,’ the woman went on, her confession tumbling out in a hurry, ‘then I would know that the scouring pad my dog had eaten would also pass through him. But, well, neither of us has passed a scouring pad. I’m feeling rather uncomfortable, actually.’
Nina stood there, trying and failing to find an appropriate response. ‘Oh,’ was all she could muster. Then: ‘You’d better get going then.’
Needless to say, scouring pads and gastrointestinal tracts do not make a happy match. Both the owner and her dog did indeed require surgery that same day. Fortunately, they both recovered well.
I like to hope they both learned their lesson, even if Labradors aren’t famous for their self-control when it comes to food. As for their owners? Well, it’s anyone’s guess, apparently.
*
While eating things that shouldn’t be eaten is a surefire road to embarrassment, it’s not the only route. Sometimes, the shame comes from a simple instance of miscommunication.
Because vets and vet nurses have to find a way of sharing a lot of complicated information with owners, we’ve got some tried-and-true tricks when it comes to the most common conditions and procedures. One such example is using an orange when we’re teaching owners how to inject insulin into their pets.
An orange’s surface very closely mimics the texture of skin, so it’s the perfect thing to practise on—and saves your pet from becoming a pin cushion while you refine your technique.
So, when one of my vet nurse colleagues, Miranda, held a discharge consult with a woman whose dog had just been diagnosed with diabetes, she didn’t think twice. She injected the orange. Then, she got the owner to have a go.
‘Lovely work,’ Miranda said.
The owner seemed a bit flummoxed but smiled hesitantly.
‘It’s a bit unusual, isn’t it?’
‘It is to begin with,’ Miranda said kindly. ‘But don’t worry.
You’ll get the hang of it in no time.’
The owner looked down at the orange, clearly still a bit unsure.
‘Take it home with you,’ Miranda said, smiling encouragingly. ‘Keep practising. It does get easier, I promise.’
But a week later, the owner and her dog were back. The vet came to find Miranda.
‘Did you show the owner how to inject the insulin?’ he asked.
‘Yes, of course,’ Miranda replied. ‘She did a great job.’
‘Well, the dog’s blood glucose is alarmingly high,’ he said. ‘It’s like he hasn’t had any insulin at all. I just can’t work it out.
Would you mind having another chat with his owner while I run some tests?’
‘Not at all,’ replied Miranda.
She asked the woman to show her how she was injecting the insulin, and once again the woman’s technique was spot on.
So Miranda asked her about how she was storing the insulin, but there were no issues there, either. The dog’s owner was very diligent. She seemed to have done everything Miranda told her to the letter. Miranda was stumped.
Then the owner piped up. ‘Do you think it might have something to do with where I’m storing the orange?’
Very confused, Miranda asked her what she meant.
‘Well, I’ve been keeping the orange in a bowl close to where my dog sleeps, but perhaps it’s still too far away?’
‘I’m sorry,’ Miranda said. ‘I don’t understand.’
Now it was the owner’s turn to look confused. ‘The orange you gave me?’ she said slowly. ‘I’ve been injecting it, just like you showed me? Twice a day, at the same time as I feed my dog?’
All of a sudden, everything became clear. Miranda had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.
‘Is that not what I’m supposed to do?’ the poor owner asked.
After a brief pause to gather herself, Miranda gently explained that the insulin needed to go into the dog—not the orange.
The woman was terribly embarrassed, but at least the misunderstanding had been corrected before her dog ended up extremely sick—or some unsuspecting visitor helped themselves to that orange!