Secrets and Lemons

Lemons may make lemonade, their blossoms may smell sweet, but bite beneath their raw skins and they're impossible to eat.

Such is this memoir written by Barbara Docherty.

"My father said I'd talk to anything, even a cornflake..." she writes.

And indeed, in this memoir Barbara strongly conveys her zest for living and adventure, her ability to connect with people, and talent for recognising opportunity when it knocks.

Her life has been full of 'firsts'. First health nurse radio talkback host; first to see the need for a general practice nurse manual, and write it; first to develop a programme to teach health professionals how to really communicate with their patients based solely on what patients were asking for; first to expose to society that yes, heterosexual women do marry homosexual men, often before their men really know themselves. Barbara's list of achievements and experiences is legion, and let us be clear, her life has been full of joy.

But, there were times when the trauma of events was great. "My children ... have witnessed so many examples of my ability to attract the out-of-the-ordinary, all of which is thoroughly deserving of [their] nickname for me, 'shit magnet'." Unable to unravel this shit, Barbara instead buried the trauma so she could carry on, which in later life eventually manifested as post-traumatic stress.

Key among the events Barbara writes of is her experience of the forced adoption of her babies - twice. Many survivors of the estimated 100,000 New Zealand birth mothers of the notorious 'baby scoop era' during the 1950s to early 70s will viscerally feel the systematic dehumanisation of Barbara's childbirth experiences and illegal kidnapping of her infants. For decades Barbara persistently hounded authorities for information about her children, which fell on deaf ears.

This is an unfinished story... as yet we do not know the outcome, but there is a plethora of women who were there too, who work in the health care services, who care about the lives of women anywhere and everywhere and are fighting to redress this history. It was not until 2024 that New Zealand politicians offered brief apologies, but as Barbara writes, "...we still [await] a much wider acknowledgement and redress."

This is a must-read book for all women, health professionals, government and church officials.