Review: The Comeback Code, by Jake Bailey

There are many job descriptions that would bewilder my Dad if he were alive in the 21st century: Social Influencer; Content Creator; Relationships Coach; Innovation Leader. And Resilience Educator, which is how Christchurch's Jake Bailey earns a crust.

I'll say straightaway that Bailey is an admirable young man. And he is young: in his late twenties. A decade back, during his final year at high school, his life tore apart. 'I had a cancerous tumour inside my face....the most aggressive form.' Months of agonising treatment followed. He's now in prolonged remission, and my word, he's making the most of it.

He's already written the much-commended What Cancer Taught Me. He's spoken and taught across the world; developed programmes on dealing positively with trauma of all sorts. His work and courage are universally respected. I repeat – he's only in his late twenties.

His second publication, essentially a handbook on coping with major trauma, is also admirable. It starts with a narrative of his own illness and its savage progress: 'I was the Usain Bolt of dying....faster than everyone else'.

Then we're quickly into the guts of the book: his Four S Model.

As Bailey goes comprehensively into each element, we get SLOW DOWN (break the challenge or issue into manageable chunks); SALVAGE (deliberately seek out the good); STREAMLINE (minimise fears and anxieties); STAND ALONGSIDE (maximise community and support).

'My passion is resilience,' he writes early on. It could sound woolly, even glib, but he goes on to explain with reassuring common sense what he means. How do you begin to become resilient? Via exercise, sleep, sensible eating and drinking. Anyone can start, and that's another commendably encouraging aspect of the text.

There's a lot about himself. So there should be; he's a prime example of practising what he preaches. Actually, he doesn't preach; he chats, jokes, suggests, supports but doesn't pressure.

He also makes frequent and generous mention of others. There are substantial stories of overcoming adversity, from names that most NZers will recognise: athlete Zoe Hobbs and All Black Will Jordan; Greens leader Chloe Swarbrick; journalist and mental health advocate Jehan Casinader; paralympian Liam Malone; refugee and Fulbright Scholar Abbas Nazari. Yes, they're all young. That's deliberate.

Each of them has lucid advice to offer. Don't slavishly imitate role models. Do believe in small, gradual improvements. 'Have faith; we've made it this far'. It's obvious stuff sometimes, but it's always positive and practical.

Above all, as Bailey himself reiterates, accept that shit happens, and that taking things A Day at A Time is courageous, not a cop-out.

Literary criteria are largely irrelevant for a book like this. The chatty, blokey tone (even the women sometimes sound like blokes) that permeates it is buoyant and appropriate. A mate is chatting to you, lucidly and supportively. The writing is conventional, mostly avoids cliches and wellness jargon, does have a lot of italics for emphasis. An abundance of sidebars, questions, lists – there's a roll-call of 150 (sic) possible 'Values', from Acceptance to Zeal – keep it focused and accessible. There's a nice leavening of mordant, often self-deprecating humour; I like the time our author thanks someone for inviting him to attend their 'ostentatious occasion'. No, he hadn't checked what the word meant.

My usual reaction to Self-Help books is to hand them swiftly on to somebody else, mumbling 'Help Yourself'; as I do so. But The Comeback Code is direct, unpretentious and unpatronising, authentic, hugely valuable in its focus on youth.But it's not just for Generation Z. (Did you know they're often called Zoomers? Isn't that great?) I'm over three times the author's age, yet I learned from it. Thanks a bunch, Jake. Reviewed by David Hill