Review: Unapologetically Me, by Bree Tomasel

First up, a confession. When I picked up Bree Tomasel’s book Unapologetically Me – Tales from my perfectly imperfect life I didn’t know who she was. I blame my algorithm. As soon I told my teenager I was reading this book, and later mentioned it to a friend in her fifties, they both knew exactly who Bree was. Somehow in my swirling social media broth of interior paint colours and menopause hacks I had missed the memo. The born and bred Queenslander is everywhere in Aotearoa, as an established radio host on ZM, and co-presenter of Celebrity Treasure Island on the telly. Not to mention, Bree is kind of a big deal on Instagram.

Bree opens her book with the story of a practical joke she played on her long-suffering Mum, who her more-than-a-million followers will know as Mumma Di of ‘Oh, Brianna!’ fame. It’s classic Bree, as I am to find out--relentlessly chasing a laugh, often with a little shock value thrown in. She’s seemingly unafraid of embarrassment. It’s refreshing, and often hilarious.

In the book’s introduction, she brings this characteristic honesty to her explanation of why she wrote it. It wasn’t her idea. She was gently encouraged by the publisher to tell her story, even after confessing she’d never read a book from start to finish in her life. But with the decision made, she climbed into it with determination. Grit and perseverance are themes throughout, and Bree’s pursuit of a career in radio is a masterclass in going after what you want.

She’s emphatic when asking the reader not to call her book, ‘a bloody memoir’. Instead, she says she set out to write a set of snippets from her life. In the early chapters she introduces her close Italian-Australian family, and her experiences growing up in small town Queensland on an orchard. If her childhood seemed idyllic, this changes dramatically when she becomes the victim of a terrifying home invasion at her grandmother’s home. It’s a formative moment which has left scars in the form of crippling anxiety and panic attacks. Bree details her attempts to seek help from the medical profession for her anxiety with little success. I wished at times for an acknowledgement of the many people who do feel better with treatment so that readers feel encouraged to try; however, it’s not a self-help book, and Bree’s message throughout is to accept who you are, warts and all.

At boarding school as a teenager, Bree the prankster emerges with an insatiable appetite for causing a ruckus in the name of fun. At the same time, she is exploring her sexuality and much of the book speaks to her conflicted feelings around coming out to her family, particularly her conservative Catholic father. Alongside this, she also paints a picture of a found family within the LGBTQ community which is profoundly positive, and her lighthearted insights into this world are often funny.

Recently I saw fellow radio and TV personality Matt Heath speak about his book A Life Less Punishing. Matt told a story of being knocked off his bike. He said his first thought while lying on the road was that the accident would make excellent content for breakfast radio. It occurs to me that it could be this aspect of the radio announcer mindset that shapes this book. In her professional life, Bree’s job has been to select and edit the anecdotes that will entertain, amuse and connect with her audience. The writing it down part is new, but a life in radio appears to be excellent prep for a book like this one.

I chuckled often while reading, cheered as she worked her way into her chosen career, and shed big wet tears during a poignant moment between the author and her father. The anecdote format does result in a timeline that jumps around, but Bree is an excellent host throughout, introducing the stories as if she’s yarning to a mate. I found it great fun to read as well as a reminder that we all have our struggles, however well hidden. In this case, Bree has chosen to lay herself bare and that fresh, down-to-earth honesty makes Unapologetically Me feel a bit like getting to know a new friend. Anna Scaife is a graduate of the Masters of Creative Writing at the International Institute of Modern Letters. Her short fiction has appeared in Landfall, Newsroom, takahē, Turbine, Flash Frontier and At the Bay | Te Kokuru.